Verse: 1 John 1:5-7
5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
On Sunday I was helping a friend plug in the sound board wires, and I forgot a whole row of wires. Later we started sound check and for some reason the main speakers would not produce sound. We checked the speakers to make sure they were turned on, we checked to make sure they were wired correctly, we kept searching and searching—there had to be some disconnect somewhere in the system. Finally we found it—the row of wires I forgot to connect are the ones that send music to the speakers!
I think this verse has a similar feel. God is light, and if we claim to have fellowship (relationship, connection, oneness) with him, we should walk in the light too. If we aren't walking in the light, there is some disconnect. The natural overflow of being in fellowship with God who is light, is that our lives are changed and we become people who walk in the light. So if we continue to walk in darkness, something is off.
Maybe we aren't "all in" on Jesus being the light of our lives. Maybe we think it's a good idea to be "religious" and "moral" but Jesus calls us to something he calls "discipleship"—where we shape our entire lives, all that we are, around him. Maybe we are holding parts of our lives back away from God because, honestly, we don't want to submit those parts to him. Or maybe we need help. It's possible the disconnect isn't in our relationship with Jesus, but has to do with past wounds in our life that keep us from being able to change, or even addictive patterns or behaviors. In that case, could we reach out and find help?
The point is this: when we see ourselves walking in darkness, it's a symptom, an indicator, that something is disconnected. Just like not getting sound out of the speakers indicated we had a disconnect. So when you see that in your life, the move isn't to beat yourself up with guilt and self loathing. The move is to go to Jesus and other believers, and lean in to honest relationship so you can find the disconnect and heal it. God has more for you. Even if you've been battling it for years. Don't give up.